Wanna be...on... top?...*

With much encouragement over the years, I decided to try out for America's Next Top Model before I'm out of the age bracket. It was quite the experience. They allowed about 175 girls total try out. When I first got there, there was about 50 girls ahead of me in line. But over half got cut before we got to meet in front of the judges (not tall enough, too old, too young), and I was number 22. The crowd was for the most part what I had expected; girls in their late teens/early twenties freaking out, wondering if the pants they wore made their butt look big as they apply their lip gloss for the 12th time. We had to fill out a 15 page questionnaire. The question that freaked out most of the girls was "If you could be in any political office, what would it be?" Every girl that I talked to put secretary of defense, so they could stop the war. They asked me what I put, to which I replied "I see myself more as a lobbyist for something that was important to me than holding a political office." "Would you, like, answer phones?" But all the girls I talked to were really sweet and extremely nervous, so I did my best to entertain and encourage as we waited our turn. In groups of 10, we were brought into a practice room to prepare us for what was next. We did practice walks and poses, and we were told that we would be asked a question like "why should you be America's Next Top Model?" and "what's your best model feature?".

So when it was my turn, I went into the judges' room. There was three judges behind a table, a guy working the camera, a guy with a mic, and a girl who opens the door. I walked in, gave the judges my photos and questionnaire, introduced myself, and did my walk and poses. Then the guy handed me the mic for me to answer my question.
"What are the craziest things you have ever done?"
Thank God! Not a lame question! "Things or thing? Cuz I've done alot!" Here's me stalling to think of something quick...
"Just one would be fine."
"In high school, I played a lot of sports, and when we went on tournaments, in our free time, we would play games and dare each other to do dumb stuff. During our one volleyball tournament, we were stopping at Wal-Mart and my friends thought it would be funny to ask some random person how to use a tampon. I grabbed a box and walked up to a lady to was stocking a shelf and said, 'um... I have a question... this is kind of embarrassing, but... (I started talking really fast and hammed it up) I'm on a volleyball tournament and we wear those really tight shorts and I started my period and all I have are pads but I can't were those cuz it looks like I'm wearing a diaper so I need to wear tampons but I have no idea how to do that... could you help me do this?' I hand the box to the lady who looks at me with her mouth open, 'well...' I grab her by the hand and started walking towards the restroom, 'just come with me to the bathroom and show me how to use these things... it would really help me out!' The lady stood there, dumbfounded, 'um... i think there are instructions in the box...' 'Thank you so much!' And I grabbed the box from her, gave her a big hug and walked away. All my friends were rollin' in an aisle near by."
The judges were cracking up. I gave the mic back to the guy who said that was one of the funniest stories he has ever heard at one of these things. Unfortunately, I didn't get a call back. Sorry I letcha down, guys... at least my husband thinks I'm beautiful (sniff, sniff)...






*I'm glad that the sexual innuendos of their opening song are very subtle...