Unlucky in Love
Pink and red hearts seem to be stalking me. They're everywhere, which means that Valentine's Day is coming. And though I have been single the majority of my life, I really enjoy Valentine's Day. My family is a big gift-giving family, so we take advantage of any time we can splurge on others. Every year I give out Valentine cards, so if you would like to show off that someone thought of you on V.Day, e-mail me your address (redz31@juno.com). You won't be disappointed. A couple of years ago, I sent out Justice League cards with stickers, and last year I sent Knock-knock jokes where you had to scratch the card to get the answer. They were pretty sweet.
But in light of V. Day, I thought it would be fun to talk about what some might consider to be the most effective way to communicate interest to the opposite sex: the pick-up line. Some pick-up lines are very smooth and effective, and others are flat-out ridiculous. And for the longest time, I didn't believe that they actually existed... until I worked at Northwest Plaza (which is the ghetto-est mall in St.L.), and especially when I worked at VS. People there took pick-up lines to a whole new level. But most of those were pretty racy and are only funny when said, not written, so I won't share. But I will share some lines that always make me laugh when I think about them:
-I had this key chain that was the shape of a toilet, and in the toilet bowl was lipgloss. One of my guy friends asked to use some, and he pressed too hard on the lipgloss and it smeared everywhere. With the smile, he said, "aw, man, I ruined it. I guess I'll have to take you out to dinner." It totally caught me off-guard. Two points for creativity.
-And sad to say, this is a line that I have used, cuz sometimes smiling, tossing your hair, and laughing at their jokes aren't enough: "you can ask me out on a date if you want to." Actually, I have used this line twice, and it has a 100% success rate, so I recommend using it very sparingly, ladies.
So if you're unlucky in love and the thought of V. Day coming up has you down, keep your chin up, send flowers to yourself but claim they're from a "secret admirer", and practice your pick-up lines. Who knows, the right line could land you a date for Valentine's Day.
But in light of V. Day, I thought it would be fun to talk about what some might consider to be the most effective way to communicate interest to the opposite sex: the pick-up line. Some pick-up lines are very smooth and effective, and others are flat-out ridiculous. And for the longest time, I didn't believe that they actually existed... until I worked at Northwest Plaza (which is the ghetto-est mall in St.L.), and especially when I worked at VS. People there took pick-up lines to a whole new level. But most of those were pretty racy and are only funny when said, not written, so I won't share. But I will share some lines that always make me laugh when I think about them:
-I had this key chain that was the shape of a toilet, and in the toilet bowl was lipgloss. One of my guy friends asked to use some, and he pressed too hard on the lipgloss and it smeared everywhere. With the smile, he said, "aw, man, I ruined it. I guess I'll have to take you out to dinner." It totally caught me off-guard. Two points for creativity.
-And sad to say, this is a line that I have used, cuz sometimes smiling, tossing your hair, and laughing at their jokes aren't enough: "you can ask me out on a date if you want to." Actually, I have used this line twice, and it has a 100% success rate, so I recommend using it very sparingly, ladies.
So if you're unlucky in love and the thought of V. Day coming up has you down, keep your chin up, send flowers to yourself but claim they're from a "secret admirer", and practice your pick-up lines. Who knows, the right line could land you a date for Valentine's Day.
posted by Erin | 8:55 PM
7 Comments:
The two things that seem to work for me the most is
saying, "So... you want to be my girlfriend?"
and the "check this box" on a note works. 40% of the time, it works all the time.
yeah my skills in pickups in poor. My only two girls I dated went like this.
1. Youth Conferance everyone is emotional and she is crying and I say, "So do you want to go out or what?" Smoooooth
2. You asked me out. double smoooth.
Asking girls out on a date scares the crap out of me. I have had two girls recently ask me this. "So do you want a girlfriend?" I was like "yeah... I do want one." What kind of question is that?
Sidenote: I heard they are thinking about putting an IKEA in at Northwest Plaza... contemplate that one...
yeah your justice league vday cards where cool, i think i got a superman one cuz im super...my best pick up line involved a large sign standing outside a girls window, the sign read "will you go out on a date with me?" it worked, too bad i didn't talk to her for a week after the date
my personal favorite is "hey do you want to dance?" if they say yes then SCORE...
If they say no your response is "oh I meant you look fat in those pants"
Boys--Use it, treasure it, dont blame me when they punch you in the junk....
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Dave -
That was awesome because she was in a parade.
Mandy -
If you wouldn't wear pants, that wouldn't be a problem.
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